


transatlanticism

by dollsteeth



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Sad, chan didn't choose the members, kinda happy ig, no survival show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollsteeth/pseuds/dollsteeth
Summary: felix was left in the middle of the night.chan wanted to chase his dream alone.but fate had a different plan.





	transatlanticism

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to ash and jina bc i love them  
> also im drunk so anything after the ---------- might be a bit shit but nobody's stopping me from uploading this

felix woke up in the middle of the night, to find himself alone in his bed, in an unfamiliar city, in a country he couldn't call home, no matter his roots. he should’ve been used to it, yes, it had been years since chris left him for seoul. since chris slipped away under the cover of night, leaving felix to wake up to a text message about how he had been accepted to a company to become a trainee, how he knew he was going to leave for months, but didn't want to hurt felix, as if he didn't know that it would just hurt the younger boy more.

tears pricked felix’s eyes at the memory, despite how he outwardly proclaimed that he hated chris, that he wanted nothing to do with the boy that broke his heart. but as he sat awake in bed, felix felt empty without the person he had had beside him for all those years, since they were just little kids. with a sigh, felix wiped his eyes and gazed around the dorm that his company had put him in. he saw his roommates- jisung and minho- sleeping peacefully together, wrapped in each other’s arms, and felt a pang of jealousy. he remembered when he had what they had, and cursed himself for thinking back to those days. those days were over, and chris wasn't a part of his life anymore. he needed to let go.

felix fell asleep again, and he dreamt of chris. he dreamt of their time in australia, and he felt happy. it felt right. but he was disturbed by jisung loudly calling out his name, saying something about the rest of the groupmates coming through, and felix cursed, almost jumping off the top bunk that he had carefully picked out when he was released into the dorm. he looked at himself in the mirror quickly, and decided while wiping the sleep out of his eyes that his baggy, oversized hoodie (that chris had given him years ago and he had never got rid of) and favourite sweatpants were a good enough outfit to meet new people, because they were gonna see it eventually, right?

with that thought in his mind, the small boy walked into the living room to greet the people he would be spending a good amount of his time with, if this whole idol thing worked out. he had only been a trainee for a few weeks, and with his loose grip on korean he was nervous, but for the time being he pushed that thought aside, eager to see who would greet him and the four other members that were currently residing in the dorm. his eyes scanned across the four intruders in his peaceful home, before stopping on one in the middle. he was the same height as felix, with a slit in his eyebrow and curly light brown hair. it took everything in felix to not react as he wanted to, to scream and cry and run away. because he was staring right at the one person he never thought he’d see again. christopher bang.

the brown-haired boy walked up to the rest of the trainees, struggling to keep his cool. the first three boys introduced themselves as hyunjin, seungmin, and changbin, and felix made the quick observation that changbin was, well, cute. but he couldn't focus for long, as he had to quickly move on to the last trainee. chris. felix saw a flicker of recognition in the elder’s eyes, but he quickly covered it up by holding out his hand for felix to shake.

“hey. i’m chan,” he greeted, a small, awkward smile on his face.  
felix reached out and shook his hand, smiling bitterly. “yongbok,” he said simply, watching the confusion flicker on chan’s face before turning and storming into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. jisung and minho shared a look, before jisung apologised to the group and went off to try and talk to felix.

he knocked on the door gently, which earned him a gravelly “fuck off”, in english, of course. sighing, he sat next to the bathroom door, preparing himself to fight a battle that he already suspected he was going to lose.

“lix, open up,” korean.

“no,” english.

“i’ll break this door down if i have to,” jisung said warningly, as he leaned on the door. next thing he knew, the door had been opened and he fell right onto the tiles. felix waited until jisung had sat up and moved further in, to just slam and lock the door again.

“why is he here,” felix demanded, his voice wavering slightly.

“lix, he’s part of our group. why else would he be?”

felix just nodded, pacing around the small bathroom with his hands tightly balled into fists, anxiety written all over his face. jisung watched the boy as he did so, pondering what to do. he didn't know why the arrival of this boy had affected felix so much, or why felix had so spitefully spat out the name he swore he hated. after a minute of considering his options, jisung stood up and wrapped his arms around felix, pulling the fragile boy close to him and gently petting his hair. he felt his friend begin to tremble, and just held him close as the boy sobbed in his arms, the anxiety becoming too much for felix to handle.

chan had known who the small boy with the brown hair was as soon as he laid eyes on him. he could never forget his soft features, or the way he jogged around in the morning when he was late for something, or the way he looked even tinier in the elders hoodies, which chan recognised immediately. he felt like shit. all the memories with felix came rushing back, and chan realised that he’d truly made a mistake. and now he had to live with it, quite literally. he opted to push his worries aside for the time being and get to know his group-mates, as they would have to build up a decent friendship if they hoped to get anywhere with teamwork. he drifted amongst smaller circles that had broken off and formed, finding himself gravitating towards woojin and changbin for the most part. but even with the distraction, chris couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to felix.

eventually, felix and jisung made their way out of the bathroom, felix’s face slightly red, his eyes puffy, but a small smile on his face, his way of trying to show that he was okay, he was brave and he could do it. jisung had his arm around the younger’s waist, comforting him and reminding him that he wasn't alone and that he was always going to be there to support him. felix wiped his eyes once more, and then detached himself from jisung, giving him a smile before making his way over to changbin, who was more just watching the others than engaging in conversation. the pair introduced themselves properly, their gentle smalltalk soon blossoming into an easy conversation as the two quickly clicked, finding that they had many things in common and that talking came naturally to the pair. they didn't go unnoticed by the other trainees, who made note of how changbin and felix seemed as though they had known each other forever.

“well,” a voice all too familiar to felix rang out, “we’ve got practice soon, don’t we?”

“yeah, we should probably get going,” woojin agreed, earning a grumble from the trainees that had already been living in the dorm. they still reluctantly headed out the door, preparing themselves for a packed day.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

returning to the dorm later that night, the nine trainees were exhausted. it was already past midnight, and they barely had the strength to carry themselves to bed, or the living room. felix flopped onto the couch, letting out a grunt as jeongin planted himself right on top of the elder. changbin laughed quietly at the sight from his position on the floor, and felix shot him a joking glare. the two had grown even closer during their spare moments while training, as if they hadn't been strangers when the day began.

chan entered the room, and as his eyes fell on felix he felt a pang of regret, and soon jealousy as he saw the way the younger was interacting with changbin. changbin moved closer to felix and began stroking his hair to ‘calm him down’, and chan quickly sat down to stop himself from going over and intervening, reminding himself that felix was no longer his.

as changbin played with his hair, felix felt himself relaxing, the full force of the work he had done that day catching up to him. jeongin peeled himself off the boy and walked into his dorm, leaving the awkward kind-of-but-also-not love triangle alone together. felix paid no attention to chan as he gently relaxed into sleep, instead focussing on the calming feeling of changbin running his fingers gently through his hair. changbin chuckled as he noticed felix had fallen asleep, before frowning gently.

“chan hyung, would you be able to carry him?”

“oh? uh, yeah, sure… um, where does he sleep?” chan said, quickly scooping the sleeping boy into his arms as he had done many times before, and followed changbin to felix’s room, placing the delicate boy on his bed. changbin thanked chan and left the room, a fond smile on his face. chan’s jealousy flared up. he stayed by felix’s side, as he was used to doing, petting his hair as changbin had been doing. the younger opened his eyes gently, stirred awake by the gentle movement of chan next to him, and in his tired haze he pulled the elder down, connecting their lips. chan melted into the kiss, and he kissed felix as if it was the last thing he’d ever do, pouring all the emotions he had bottled up for years into the simple motion.

felix hooked his arms around chan’s neck, sensing the desperation in his movements. he was slowly realising what he was doing, but he couldn't bring himself to let go. all the years with chan came rushing back to that, then the years without, and the younger of the pair was sure that they were destined to be together, that the red string of fate tied the two australians together and that they were bonded for life.

as the two pulled away from each other and chan got up to leave, felix quickly grabbed onto chan’s wrist. there was one question on his lips, the only thing he had wanted to say to chan for what felt like forever.

“stay?”

chan smiled softly, laying down next to felix. 

“i’m never leaving again.”


End file.
